Thursday, October 16, 2008
Yikes
I've made references to people needing to kill themselves in two posts in a row...does that make me a terrible person or a daring revolutionary?
The Youth
The youth of our nation need to be destroyed. Let's just skip this generation and start over. Why? Well, I was innocently at my local Target where a group of kids (clearly just starting their sure to be illustrious college careers) were in line. One girl in the first group who was done paying decided it would be a great idea to (loudly) let everyone, including her boyfriend in the second group, know that she purchased a (Target brand) home pregnancy test. She was also...proud...of it? Also, excited about this. This is the most sincere statement I've ever written: I super sincerely hope that test comes out negative. There's some bad genetics coming from both sides. I wish Target would start making a home suicide kit, and make it real cheap.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Today's Weirdness
1) Spitters, as previously discussed, are
subhuman. That's why I take great pleasure in watching this gross habit backfire. For instance, spitting for no reason and
watching as Mother Nature blows it right back onto your shirt. Nice. I was hoping to see a full on temper tantrum, but the
spitter seemed to be okay with it. As if it's happened many times before...
2) SPOTTED: You know those promo fliers for clubs that get passed around? The glossy cards with terrible photoshopping? Yup.
Now, what if I were to tell you I saw a similar ad (similar meaning, exactly the same) for...a BARBER. Seriously. A barber. This
hair cutting establishment needs a few glossy fliers for Jack Kevorkian. He's still around, right?
3) Finally, I got the pleasure of two kids getting thrown out of the mall for throwing food in the food court. Naturally, these two
small white kids had to act tough telling the giant security guard to "hit people your own size"...which isn't very tough at all.
Nice try at posturing (no), but I hope you both got shot out back. They did succeed at making an unnecessary ruckus and
making fools of themselves.
Can we just declare martial law and be done with it? (take a wild guess to what I'm referring to)
subhuman. That's why I take great pleasure in watching this gross habit backfire. For instance, spitting for no reason and
watching as Mother Nature blows it right back onto your shirt. Nice. I was hoping to see a full on temper tantrum, but the
spitter seemed to be okay with it. As if it's happened many times before...
2) SPOTTED: You know those promo fliers for clubs that get passed around? The glossy cards with terrible photoshopping? Yup.
Now, what if I were to tell you I saw a similar ad (similar meaning, exactly the same) for...a BARBER. Seriously. A barber. This
hair cutting establishment needs a few glossy fliers for Jack Kevorkian. He's still around, right?
3) Finally, I got the pleasure of two kids getting thrown out of the mall for throwing food in the food court. Naturally, these two
small white kids had to act tough telling the giant security guard to "hit people your own size"...which isn't very tough at all.
Nice try at posturing (no), but I hope you both got shot out back. They did succeed at making an unnecessary ruckus and
making fools of themselves.
Can we just declare martial law and be done with it? (take a wild guess to what I'm referring to)
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